Layers of What If Art Journal Page

June 7, 2013

Filed in: Uncategorized

Usually, I create a page in one sitting, or at the very most, two on the same day but this page was a bit different for many reasons. This page was full of fear, trepidation, hope, courage, and a whole lotta praying with faith. This page spanned the week, between days of what ifs, moments of I can’ts, and lots of space in between listening to that quite voice saying, “Be still, trust, have faith.” This page is the hope of what could be with the knowing of now, and going slow through the process gave me great insight into how my artistic mind collides with my responsible mind every day. 

It started off like most of the others until the phone rang with unexpected news. It was perplexing, so I turned that energy towards the pages because the two page spread was a bit odd itself. Creatively, it spoke little to me, other than the framework of the building and the geometric lines. No vision, no direction, nothing, nada….just me and my soup of awkward feelings so I began to do what I do…sketch, collage, gather, and place. 

Throughout the process over several days my emotions ran the gamut from jubilation to despondency and everything in between and the page seemed to sense that. There were moments of mud, moments of chaos, moments of I haven’t a clue where to take this, so I let it rest a day or two and began to consider just what I needed this page to teach me…I began to listen to it. As I did, I quietly started to collect words and phrases that tickled the little grey cells and placed them randomly. I also sketched favorite items in my line of site, the clock on the mantle, a paint jar, a glass sphere on a candlestick, and the bike. Sketching felt good, but still, it all echoed with bleh…

The next day rolled around and as it evolved into connecting me with a world that I had long missed something wakened inside my heart with the vision of being bold in my not knowing. That was important, the connecting with what was already within, and I ever so gently began to realize that this journal page was meant to shine a light on what it means to trust with grace, walk with faith, and step boldly into an unexpected possibility. The entire process was taxing, but oh so beautiful. 

You see, I believe the act of creating is a pathway to connect with my maker and the moments I choose to let go and listen to Him, I am shown glimpses of what walking this planet is all about, and they are sacred. I wish I could tell you that the week turned out to be filled with great achievement but that wasn’t the case. It did turn out to reveal a lot about what I needed in the moment, it helped me tinker with an odd color palette, and gave me the space to consider when a painting seems disconnected that there is always a thread hidden somewhere. 

I love this page, not because it is pretty, but more so because it reminds me that life is beautiful, surprising, and filled with wonder and looking for the moments of grace in life is often the most important thing I can do. Lovely things to be reminded of. 


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